Yennefer was furious. She stomped down the mountain, seething with rage. How could Geralt do this to her? Had the guy never heard of the concept of free will? She had hoped that after all this time, there was finally someone who loved her for who she was, flaws and all, and whom she could love in return. But of course, it all had to be a lie. Geralt had made this stupid wish after knowing her for how long? Half a day? Which meant he was just like all the others who only desired her for her beauty, because after such a short time of knowing her, what else could there be but desire and lust? Of course, she could have questioned her own feelings in this regard, but she was just so happy to finally feel what she felt for him that she simply turned a blind eye to the fact that she had fallen in love so quickly. Stupid, she'd been so stupid to believe it was real. She wanted this sh*tty, bogus bond gone. And right away!
As she came to grips with her feelings, she thought about who she could ask for help. She closed her eyes and thought about who might know a solution to erase the connection between her and Geralt. The image that appeared in her mind's eye should not have surprised her. With a defeated sigh, she opened a portal and stepped into the corridor that led to Tissaia’s chambers in Aretuza.
She strode purposefully to the door in front of her, rapping her knuckles on the door with determination, waiting to be invited in. She could have barged right in, knowing the door wasn't locked as she could sense Tissaia’s chaos signature on the other side. However, she didn't think that was the wisest idea in the current situation. After all, she was here because she needed the woman's help.
“Come in,” came the voice from inside.
Yennefer took a deep breath, opened the door and found Tissaia sitting behind her desk.
“Yennefer. I didn't expect to see you so soon after our conversation in Rinde. You made it clear to me then that you wanted nothing to do with me,” Tissaia said in a hurt voice that she tried to hide. But Yennefer knew her too well and heard it where anyone else could only have detected seriousness.
What? No, that was not what she had said. Sure, they had exchanged their usual barbs, and it had been anything but a pleasant visit, but she had NOT said she wanted nothing more to do with Tissaia. Her behavior was due to her helplessness at seeing the woman again after decades and not knowing how to communicate with her. Ever since she had met her in that godforsaken pigsty, she had been enamored with her and had always felt insecure in her presence. Over the years, the feelings had grown stronger and stronger until she had accepted that she had fallen in love... Nope! She wouldn't think about that now. After her ascension, she had made sure to avoid the woman at all costs so as not to have to deal with her feelings. When Tissaia had suddenly appeared in Rinde, beautiful and regal, worrying about Yennefer's well-being, she had admittedly not handled the situation very well.
“Look, Tissaia, for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry about my reaction towards you in Rinde. You tried to help me, and I went on the defensive and lashed out. But I want you to know that my behavior wasn't directed at you, it was directed at the Brotherhood. It's none of their business if I want a child and what I'm willing to do to achieve that goal. It's my body and my decision. They don't get to dictate to me what I can and can't do with my body. I thought I had already made that clear, when I didn’t give a f*ck about their opinion about my transformation, when they wanted to send me to Nilfgaard.”
When she saw that Tissaia was about to interrupt her, she raised her hand. “Please let me finish, this is important. I was very grateful that you warned me that day in Rinde, but I could never bow to an organization that tries to take away my free will. So yes, I declined to come back to Aretuza, because I don’t want to have anything to do with the Brotherhood. But that doesn't mean I want nothing to do with you. Like you said, you gave me everything you could give, and for that I am grateful, believe it or not. You made me who I am today. Without you, I would have wasted away in that pigsty with no hope of a future. I know I never said it, but I thank you for that.”
“Very well,” was all Tissaia managed to say, and Yennefer could see that the older woman was struggling with her emotions. “What brings you here then?”
“A wish made with a djinn.”
“You made a wish with a djinn?” Tissaia asked exasperated. “Why would you do such a thing? Bargains with djinns seldom lead to anything good.”
“No, I didn’t and yes, it didn’t lead to anything good. That's why I need your help. A Witcher who had known me for about three seconds, thought it would be a good idea to bind us together with his wish. I had no idea he did this until today and when I found out, I was incredibly angry and came straight to you, hoping you would have a solution for me on how to severe the bond.”
Tissaia seemed to ponder her request for several minutes before Yennefer saw that she had reached some kind of conclusion. “Yes, I remember to have read about a solution for your problem a long time ago, but I’m not sure that it will be viable in your case.”
“What? Really? That is amazing!” Yennefer exclaimed excitedly.
“Wait until you have heard me out. I'm not sure you’ll still think it is amazing after I told you what is needed to break the bond between the Witcher and yourself.” She looked seriously at Yennefer before continuing, “You’ll need a kiss of true love to severe the bond.”
“A kiss of true love? Are you serious? In the sense of soul mates or something similar that sounds like it’s coming out of a fairy tale?” Yennefer asked not sure, if Tissaia was trying to make fun of her.
“Do I look like I’m joking?” Tissaia replied, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, I didn't believe it myself when I read it, but the source it came from is very highly regarded. Although I have never met anyone in my life who could confirm the veracity of this statement first hand, there are many other things in this tome that have been proven true over the years, while in turn not a single piece of information from it has been proven false so far.”
“Okay. So basically, all I have to do is go to the person I truly love, kiss them, and boom, the connection is broken?” Yennefer asked hopefully. She could do that. It would be embarrassing, for sure, but whatever. It wouldn’t be the first time she had to make a decision she didn’t like. She could even do it right now. All she had to do was walk around the desk, grab Tissaia by the lapel of her dress, kiss her real quick, and portal out as fast as she could. Yeah, that was a great plan, right?
But Tissaia’s next words made it clear that it wasn’t such a great plan. “No, Yennefer. I’m afraid it’s not quite that simple. As with all magic, there is a give and take involved. That means that both parties involved in the kiss must feel the same way. In this case, the kiss is a symbol with which you give your love to the other person and accept their love in return. The same goes for the partner you are kissing.”
“Okay. I’m doomed then.” Yennefer sighed defeatedly.
That earned her a confused look from Tissaia. “Why would you think that? When you thought the feelings were only needed from your side, you were pretty confident that it would work out. But now that I told you that the other party has to return your feelings, you suddenly think it’s a lost cause? Why?”
Yennefer laughed dryly. “Well, Rectoress, if I remember correctly, someone once told me that no one would love me even if I were a beauty.” She knew that was a low blow, but she couldn’t hold back the words. Because Tissaia was right, no one had ever loved her for herself. When she was a hunchback, no one looked twice at her. Of course there had been Istredd, but his motives had been more focused on pleasing his master than being with her. His betrayal had been the reason she’d almost been sent to Nilfgaard, damn it. And now people only loved her body and wanted her for a quick f*ck before disappearing again. No one ever stayed. The only exception to that rule had been Geralt, but that was based on a lie.
Yennefer had never seen anyone move as quickly as Tissaia did after her exclamation. She was in front of her in an instant, holding her hands tightly. “That’s not what I meant when I said that” Tissaia said emphatically. “I said your fear makes sense, and it does!”
Yennefer tried to tear her hands away, for the words hurt. What was the difference between what she had said and Tissaia’s confirmation just now? The result was the same! No one would ever love her!
Tissaia’s grip on her hands tightened, preventing Yennefer from breaking free. “No, look at me,” Tissaia demanded in a tone that brooked no argument, and Yennefer did. “There is a big difference between whether no one will ever love you and whether you believe that no one will ever love you. The first statement is a fact set in stone, while the second reflects your fear and may not be true at all. What I meant then and now with my statement is that your fear of not being lovable will not change, regardless of whether you are beautiful or not. If you believe that nothing and no one finds you lovable, your appearance plays no role at all. Your fear of this will remain and the only person who can change this belief is yourself. For my part, I have never considered you unlovable. From the moment I picked you up, I saw a strong-willed woman who had already overcome so many challenges in her young life. However, they have not broken her, on the contrary, they have made her stronger. In my role as a teacher, no student has challenged me as much as you have. Most of them cower at my feet and try to please me at every turn, but you never have. Over the years, this determination has made you one of the most impressive mages I have had the pleasure of training, and it is a character trait I admire greatly in you. You also care deeply about others. Not many people would share this assessment of you with me, as most of the time you are determined to hide this part of yourself by any means possible. On that note, I remember another conversation between us, where I mentioned that mages like us must always keep our emotions tightly under control in order not to be consumed by them. This is still true after all these years. You have so many emotions inside you, and from the moment we met, you have shown them to me so clearly. I know you to your core, Yennefer, and let me tell you, what I see is a beautiful woman, inside and out, and you are so incredibly lovable!”
It was that last part of Tissaia’s speech that caused Yennefer to lean forward and firmly connect her lips with Tissaia’s. She felt the woman stiffen in response, without showing any reaction of returning the kiss. And damn it, the fact that Tissaia didn’t kiss her back after that heartfelt speech hurt more than anything the woman had ever said or done to her.
This time, Yennefer tore herself away from Tissaia with more force than before and rushed to the door to get out of the room as quickly as possible. But before she could open the door, she heard the distinctive click of the door being locked.
Was Tissaia serious right now? Could the woman not let her escape and suffer in peace? She didn’t have to rub the misinterpretation of her words in Yennefer’s face, for heaven’s sake. She turned around to give the woman a piece of her mind and barely had time to open her mouth before her back hit the door with a thud and Tissaia’s body was pressed tightly against hers. The next moment, Tissaia’s lips were back on her own. She was barely able to return the kiss in any way before Tissaia’s tongue demanded entry into her mouth and she was kissed with a hunger and passion she had never felt before in her life. Her brain instantly turned to mush, and she let her tongue duel with Tissaia’s out of pure instinct and feeling alone. That’s when she felt it. The compulsion towards Geralt that had been her constant companion since Rinde was gone.
When the kiss ended Yennefer realized what that meant. “So, you love me then?” she asked smiling at Tissaia.
“I thought I made that very clear just now,” Tissaia replied, playfully slapping her arm.
“Hmm, yes, maybe I need a second demonstration to really believe it?”
“Insufferable,” Tissaia said in a teasing tone before leaning in to kiss Yennefer again.
The end
